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The thoughts were coming more often and they soon became an obscession. I found myself visiting internet sites that catered to pics of naked guys. I looked intently at the pics, lusting after the cocks that were displayed before me. I would find one or two pics of a beautiful cock and I would jack-off imagining myself sucking it until it came. I progessed to the gay and bisexual sites where I could check out the pics and movies of men sucking each others rock-hard cocks and pounding each others asses. Then the gay/bisexual chat rooms. I started cybering with other men, jacking off with one hand and typing with the other. This was extremely difficult to do at home and I had to choose my moments wisely. How I never got caught is beyond me. These thoughts and fantasies came and went over the years but each time they returned, the feelings were more intense and urgent. It was as if I sensed that time was passing by and action was in order. I started checking out the "man looking for man". ”“A what?”“Dispensation. Your mother taught the word to me. Do you not like how it sounds? Dispensation?” Swift Hawk thumped his son on the back.“But, what does it mean?”“Oh, it is a wonderful word. It means,” Swift held his hand up, “a divine ordering of a worldly thing, a time set aside by The Great Spirit for just you and me. Now, go get me a big one. I’m hungry.”Drying his eyes, the boy stood. He strode down to the backwash, waded into the water, and dropped his hands into the fridge stream. His father knew him well. He would learn both the ways of the Indian and the ways of the white man. Wounded Hawk would make both his mother and father proud of him.“See that big one?” his father asked him. Wounded Hawk nodded. “That mine. So, catch him.”“Yes, Father,” the young man said.Southwest of Estes Park, Colorado TerritoryOctober 1865Memories of the past flooded Wounded Hawk’s thoughts while following the tracks though the lush grass. His father had taught him the gift of tracking prey.
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